Passionate Lunches A Completley Random story
by Color KATastrophe
Summary: We jammed all the Yu-Gi-Oh characters into a grubby restaraunt and we made a hilarious comedy. welcome to the cafe where any thing goes, Men get pregnant, Bakura curses, Marik's a ditz, and even being a Hero is considered a bad thing. Reveiw Please.
1. Kids, stolen money, and rehearsals

First of all.. Thank you's to all those who reviewed the first chapter.  
  
Paladin Dragoon: Hey thanks for the Chocolate and the chain saw. I like to chop things up! YAY!! Fun for all!! Well me. But good idea.. Yami Bakura in a gown and High heels.. maybe I could use that.. he he. I think he'd look good in a dress! LOL!  
  
Evil Moogle Queen: Nice name. Happy some one puts my story's on their favorites. Don't laugh to hard, In the words of the immortal one Yami Bakura: "Laughing gives you wrinkles and are a sure sign of insanity." Lol.  
  
Anonymous one: Marik's family will be quite large and so will his child support payment. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Indygo: Yes make it an original story.. yes that sounds like a plan.. But I wouldn't do that. I'm lazy. I hope this chapter will be crazy enough for ya. OOC is the main part of this story, I mean Marik a ditz? Bakura cursing? Yami Bakura wearing a pink apron? Kaiba planning to torch a restaurant? Tea a Janitor? What's normal about that? Lol.  
  
*Pats all reviewers on head. Hands them all lollypop's and loads of other junk that Tea supposedly bought with her "Money".* Thank's ya'll. I hope this chapter will keep you hooked. Like drugs- I mean candy!  
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sickening elevator music began to play as the intro credits rolled, showing ridiculously fuzzed out images of all the main characters. Each of them was trying their best to look seductive, cutesy, or evil, depending on their character. After a grueling three minutes, the newest soap opera on Public Access Domino, Passionate Lunches finally began.  
  
Kaiba stared at the propane torch in Bakura and Yami Bakura's Hands..  
  
"UNHAND THE $^#@IN TORCH BAKURA!!" Yami Bakura screamed. "@#$% RODENTS!!"  
  
Sheriff Mokuba stared at Tèa. He pulled out his Walkie Talkie. "We got a maniac! A &*%#in Maniac. A maniac-"  
  
"We get the point!" The Walkie Talkie snapped. "Besides.. you shouldn't be cursing."  
  
"I can &%@#in curse if I want to!" Mokuba snapped. "So deal with it $@%& it!"  
  
Marik looked at the sheriff and shook his head. He turned his attention to the straws in his nose. "Hey Guess what!"  
  
"What is it?" Ayari asked.  
  
"I can stick 20 straws in my nose! New Record!" Marik spun around on his chair some more.  
  
Joey glared at Tèa. "What d'ya mean#%@% 'Panty thief'? I ain't steal no @%#@n' Panties!!"  
  
"Oh yeah? Then why were you wearin' mine, eh?" Tèa stopped running around like an idiot.  
  
Yami Bakura had succeeded in dislodging the propane torch from Bakura's hands, and was now proceeding to yell about needing tea, as he crawled along the ground torch lit, looking for traces of mice.  
  
"You @$#^ Yami's!!" Bakura yelled storming off into the kitchen. "I'm makin' more @%$^in' tea," He muttered.  
  
Yugi hiccupped loudly and nuzzled his catnip. "Boy I like industrial strength.."  
  
Yami nodded stupidly and walked to a corner to cuddle with his catnip. His mind was definitely fried.  
  
Kaiba pulled out a chainsaw from his office.. (That's My NEW CHAINSAW!! WHEN I GET HIM..oh sorry.) Kaiba turned on the chainsaw.  
  
"Boss.. what's up wit you?" Ayari asked. She noticed his scheming eyes. "Here we go again.."  
  
A Mouse scurried past a newly arrived customer who screamed and jumped into Ayari's arms. He was blonde and spiky haired like and electrocuted porcupine. He was wearing a cloak of dark purple. Ayari struggled to hold him up and then his hair poked her in the eye.  
  
"#%@^ it! That $^#% Hurts! Yami Marik, How many times have i told you to get a hair cut!! Or use less %&$^ GEL!"  
  
"Well I have to keep my evil looks in shape you know. This hair doesn't just stay up like that naturally." Yami Marik rolled his eyes and scramed again, the mouse had ran past his legs again. It was headed for Marik! "NO! EVIL MOUSE! STAY AWAY FROM ME!! CREATURE FORM THE DARK ABYSS OF HELL!!! BE GONE!!" Yami Marik screamed and tightened his grip on Ayari's neck.  
  
"Can't. Breathe." Ayari managed. She dropped Yami Marik on the ground. "Baby."  
  
"Mousies! I like mousies!" Marik yelled picking up the mouse.  
  
"Just wait till I catch that @$%& $^$#in rodent!!" Yami Bakura set the propane torch to 'Burn the @%#&er' mode. "That lil' #$%@er's gonna pay!!"  
  
"No!! Don't hurt the mouse!! He only even bit Bakura and Tèa!" Marik screamed running from Yami Bakura who began to chase him.  
  
Sakura glared at Tristan who was trying to touch her again. "Hand's off!!" She smacked him and stormed to the other side of the restaurant.  
  
Yami Marik managed to stand and recollect him self. "Can I order now?" He aske impatiently.  
  
"Don't get an attitude with me!" She snapped. She applied her serene smile again. "Sure. What d'ya have?"  
  
"Just a small hamburger, a medium diet coke, and a frie." Yami Marik replied his eyes resting on the mouse his hikari held.  
  
"Ok." Ayari turned around to the back. "HEY #!@$^! THIS @$R WANTS A SMALL @$^^$^ HAMBUGER!! TORCH IT!! AND A @$^& SMALL FRIE!!"  
  
"$%&#$! GET IT YOUR %$!& SELF!" Bakura yelled back.  
  
"SHUT UP AND GET TO COOKIN' BAKURA!!" Ayari snapped loudly. She turned back to Yami Marik. "Is that all?" She asked with a smile.  
  
"Um.. yeah.." He sighed.  
  
"What the #$&@ is wrong with you?" Ayari asked.  
  
Yami Marik turned to the rest of the restaurant. "Ahem.." He stood up straight and his face contorted and veins popped out on the sides. "I SHALL KILL YOU ALL WITH THE AWESOME POWER-"  
  
"Of the millennium Rod." The clientele finished. Yami Marik usually came in and screamed that and banish some random person he found.  
  
"*&#$!" Yami Marik threw his cloak over his shoulder, as his face returned to normal. "Super size that meal."  
  
"Sure." Ayari turned to the back. "YOU HEARD THE $%@%in ORDER! SUPER SIZE THE WHOLE @#&% THING! UNDERSTOOD!" She smiled sweetly and turned to the front again.  
  
"I GOT IT! NOW SHUDDAP!" Bakura yelled. "$@&$ it."  
  
Ishizu walked towards the door to the cooking area. " Just a peek." She touched the door handle and Bakura came out, and the door slammed her in the nose.  
  
"..$%@$ing swinging doors!" The door swung back at her and slammed her nose again. She turned to the rest of the restaurant. "NOW ALL OF YOU!! I EXPECT THIS $%*# PLACE TO BE CLEAN BY TOMARROW! AND IF NOT THIS $%*# PLACE WILL BE CONDEMNED!! AND BEFORE I GO.. I'M GOING TO CHECK THE KITCHEN!" Ishizu turned to the door and Bakura ran back inside. The door swung at her again.  
  
"I think it's broken.." She muttered in muffled voice due to her newly broken nose. She reached of the handle and the restaurant workers ran to block the door.  
  
Yami Bakura and Marik were too busy to notice nor run to the door. "COME BACK HERE!! LET ME BURN THE @&^#ERS HEAD OFF!!"  
  
"NO! NO! NO! YOU CAN'T HURT HIM!!" Marik yelled. He cradled the mouse. "I love him. He's such a cute mousie. I shall name him Mousie and He shall be mine."  
  
The mouse hissed and began to foam at the mouth..  
  
A loud yelp sounded.  
  
"Bad #$^# MOUSIE!! BAD! BAD! MOUSIE!!" Marik examined his bite mark. "Cool I have Rabies!"  
  
Yami Marik screamed at the sound of Mousie and raibies in 2 sentences made by one person. "$@^$ rodents."  
  
Yami Bakura glared at Marik. Yami Bakura began to laugh evilly.  
  
"Get away form there! I have to check it!" Ishizu Yelled.  
  
"Oh really? Well actually- HEY!! What are you doing!!" Sakura looked at Ishizu as she began to climb through the window to the back.  
  
"I'm going in!!" Ishizu yelled.  
  
"Give me the @#%#in Mouse Marik!"  
  
"NO! I LOVE HIM!!"  
  
Yami Bakura sighed. He turned to go back to his kitchen and noticed Ishizu crawling through the order window. He screamed. "GET OUT OF MY #%&$ KITCHEN!!" Yami Bakura's ring began to shine. "NOW! DON'T MAKE ME USE THIS!!"  
  
"Make me!" Came Ishizu's voice. "I am a health inspector you know and as a health inspector, I have the right and as part of the examination process I have to go into the kitchen.." Ishizu began to continue on about her job as a health inspector.  
  
"I SAID NOT TO MAKE ME USE IT AND NOW I'M USING IT!" Yami Bakura screamed. "I BANISH YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM!!"  
  
Ishizu disappeared.  
  
"That my *%#$in kitchen." Yami Bakura muttered walking into his kitchen.  
  
"I heard stories about Bakura's kitchen.." Sakura whispered to Ayari.  
  
"Like what?" Ayari asked.  
  
"That when you enter you never come out. I remember that one waitress we had.. well waiter, Rex Raptor? Yeah he when back there one day.. and he never returned." Sakura nodded.  
  
Ayari screamed and listened to the sound of banging pots and pans and assorted curses with a British accent.  
  
Joey looked at his abandoned chicken meal on the table.. There's no hot sauce. He distinctly remembered ordering hot sauce.. "HEY THERE'S NO $%#& HOT SAUCE ON MY $%&@IN' CHICKEN!" He stormed to the counter. "Hey! Get in that %$@& kitchen and put some $%@^ hot sauce on my chicken!!" Joey thought a moment. "And a cute waitress."  
  
Sheriff Mokuba stared at the clientele. They were crazy. Maybe he should just leave. He began to edge his way to the door.  
  
"Where the hell do ya' think you're goin? You have to arrest Tèa!" Yugi stood up form the corner.  
  
The whole place stared at him.  
  
"I mean.. she did still steal that money." Yugi smiled nervously. He was becoming pale. "ARREST HER @$$ NOW!!"  
  
"I know that pale look! Your lying!" Sakura laughed. "You stole the money!"  
  
"What! I don't know what you're talking about!" Yugi yelled defensively.  
  
Yami stood up woozily. He was quite delirious. "YUGI DIDN'T STEAL THE MONEY!! I DID!" Yami laughed.  
  
Kaiba, Marik, Yami Marik, Ryou Bakura, and Yami Bakura all screamed. Yami Stealing? Whoa!  
  
"THAT'S RIGHT!! I DID IT!! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO!!" Yami screamed loudly.  
  
Sheriff Mokuba ran out the restaurant.  
  
Tèa shrugged. She picked up her mop and began to mop up assorted smashed foods on the ground.  
  
"WHAT!! He can't just leave! He's supposed to arrest Tea in this episode!" Yugi yelled.  
  
"WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!!" Tèa yelled brandishing her mop threateningly. "DID YOU WANT ME TO BE ARRESTED!!??"  
  
Yugi shuddered in fear. "Well uh no."  
  
Bakura slammed down Yami Marik's order on the counter.  
  
"Nice tutu." Yami Marik said loudly.  
  
"#@&% YAMI'S!" Bakura screamed. He walked in to the kitchen angrily, after smacking Yami Marik.  
  
Kaiba revved up the chainsaw. "I'LL DESTROY AND BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND!!!"  
  
Ayari and Sakura screamed. "NO!"  
  
Kaiba turned to the counter. He was about to chop it up.  
  
"HEY!! DO YOU MIND!? I'M STILL USIN' THIS!" Yami Marik yelled.  
  
Ayari and Sakura grabbed Kaiba and pulled him into his office. Screams and banging noises sounded. Ayari and Sakura walked Back out wiping their hands. "That's that."  
  
Bakura poked his head out form the kitchen. "What's the $^@* is going on out here?"  
  
"Kaiba went crazy again." Sakura said plainly as she walked to a table to take orders from some people sitting there.  
  
"Again?" Bakura asked. "What was he trying to do?"  
  
"Cut the place up." Ayari typed in some prices into the cash register and handed some one their receipt. "He might have burned the place if Yami Bakura didn't have the propane torch."  
  
Marik looked over to the office. "Poor Kaiba." He smiled and hoped out of his chair. "I should go talk to him."  
  
Sakura, Ayari, and Bakura followed Marik into the office.  
  
Kaiba screamed. He was tied up in a straight jacket and in a corner, his mouth was gagged.  
  
"Kaiba? Are you ok?" Marik asked.  
  
"Mrrffmmmfrrr." Kaiba responded.  
  
"Sorry you'll have to repeat that," Ayari said leaning in to hear better.  
  
"MRRFFMMMFRRR!!" Kaiba yelled.  
  
"What?" Sakura asked.  
  
"MRRFFMMMFRRR!!" Kaiba yelled again.  
  
"What?" Ayari asked.  
  
"He said that you're all a bunch of Mother @#%$er's. " Malik said like it was obvious.  
  
"Mrffrmmffrmm," Kaiba added.  
  
"Oh and he's going to kill you all tonight-"  
  
"mmriiffrfrmmf."  
  
"In your sleep-"  
  
"Mfrisrrrffrfmmfm."  
  
"With a butcher knife." Marik smiled. "He's calmer than usual."  
  
"MARIK!!! DELIVERY!!" Yami Bakura's voice rang in thorough the closed door and into Marik's mind.  
  
"I hear ya @$#%it." Marik thought back angrily.  
  
The group exited the office closing the door.  
  
"Marik.. now.. bring back money! Ok just money!" Ayari yelled handing him the new order from off the back counter.  
  
"Yes SIR!" Marik saluted. "I mean ma'am." He rushed out the door. "YOU CAN COUNT ON ME!"  
  
"That's what I'm afraid of." Ayari said.  
  
"#$@%IT BAKURA!!!" Yami Bakura yelled.  
  
Bakura ran back into the kitchen.  
  
Yami Marik stared at his hamburger. He pulled of the top part of the bun. There were cigarette bunt's all over it. He looked in his soda, ash form the cigarettes. He looked at the case of fries. What would he find in there? He opened it. It was full of junk that had no remote chance of even being a French Frie.. even if it was in the shadow realm. Yami Marik concluded the food was much do dangerous to eat. "I'm already anorexic."  
  
The smooth announcers voice came on and a picture of the restaurant appeared showing the characters in their current positions. "What is in the kitchen? Will Marik the delivery boy bring back money and any more babies? Will Janitor Téa be arrested if Sheriff Mokuba returns? Will Kaiba escape his bonds and kill Ayari and Sakura in their sleep with a butcher's knife? Will Yami become any more crazy and did he actually commit the stealing? Joey get any hot sauce on his chicken? Tune in next time for the next episode of-"  
  
The ending credits rolled showing pictures of different crazy happenings at the restaurant and at the end a group picture of the cast. 


	2. Inspector Ishizu and Mousie

First of all.. Thank you's to all those who reviewed the first chapter.  
  
Paladin Dragoon: Hey thanks for the Chocolate and the chain saw. I like to chop things up! YAY!! Fun for all!! Well me. But good idea.. Yami Bakura in a gown and High heels.. maybe I could use that.. he he. I think he'd look good in a dress! LOL!  
  
Evil Moogle Queen: Nice name. Happy some one puts my story's on their favorites. Don't laugh to hard, In the words of the immortal one Yami Bakura: "Laughing gives you wrinkles and are a sure sign of insanity." Lol.  
  
Anonymous one: Marik's family will be quite large and so will his child support payment. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Indygo: Yes make it an original story.. yes that sounds like a plan.. But I wouldn't do that. I'm lazy. I hope this chapter will be crazy enough for ya. OOC is the main part of this story, I mean Marik a ditz? Bakura cursing? Yami Bakura wearing a pink apron? Kaiba planning to torch a restaurant? Tea a Janitor? What's normal about that? Lol.  
  
*Pats all reviewers on head. Hands them all lollypop's and loads of other junk that Tea supposedly bought with her "Money".* Thank's ya'll. I hope this chapter will keep you hooked. Like drugs- I mean candy!  
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sickening elevator music began to play as the intro credits rolled, showing ridiculously fuzzed out images of all the main characters. Each of them was trying their best to look seductive, cutesy, or evil, depending on their character. After a grueling three minutes, the newest soap opera on Public Access Domino, Passionate Lunches finally began.  
  
Kaiba stared at the propane torch in Bakura and Yami Bakura's Hands..  
  
"UNHAND THE $^#@IN TORCH BAKURA!!" Yami Bakura screamed. "@#$% RODENTS!!"  
  
Sheriff Mokuba stared at Tèa. He pulled out his Walkie Talkie. "We got a maniac! A &*%#in Maniac. A maniac-"  
  
"We get the point!" The Walkie Talkie snapped. "Besides.. you shouldn't be cursing."  
  
"I can &%@#in curse if I want to!" Mokuba snapped. "So deal with it $@%& it!"  
  
Marik looked at the sheriff and shook his head. He turned his attention to the straws in his nose. "Hey Guess what!"  
  
"What is it?" Ayari asked.  
  
"I can stick 20 straws in my nose! New Record!" Marik spun around on his chair some more.  
  
Joey glared at Tèa. "What d'ya mean#%@% 'Panty thief'? I ain't steal no @%#@n' Panties!!"  
  
"Oh yeah? Then why were you wearin' mine, eh?" Tèa stopped running around like an idiot.  
  
Yami Bakura had succeeded in dislodging the propane torch from Bakura's hands, and was now proceeding to yell about needing tea, as he crawled along the ground torch lit, looking for traces of mice.  
  
"You @$#^ Yami's!!" Bakura yelled storming off into the kitchen. "I'm makin' more @%$^in' tea," He muttered.  
  
Yugi hiccupped loudly and nuzzled his catnip. "Boy I like industrial strength.."  
  
Yami nodded stupidly and walked to a corner to cuddle with his catnip. His mind was definitely fried.  
  
Kaiba pulled out a chainsaw from his office.. (That's My NEW CHAINSAW!! WHEN I GET HIM..oh sorry.) Kaiba turned on the chainsaw.  
  
"Boss.. what's up wit you?" Ayari asked. She noticed his scheming eyes. "Here we go again.."  
  
A Mouse scurried past a newly arrived customer who screamed and jumped into Ayari's arms. He was blonde and spiky haired like and electrocuted porcupine. He was wearing a cloak of dark purple. Ayari struggled to hold him up and then his hair poked her in the eye.  
  
"#%@^ it! That $^#% Hurts! Yami Marik, How many times have i told you to get a hair cut!! Or use less %&$^ GEL!"  
  
"Well I have to keep my evil looks in shape you know. This hair doesn't just stay up like that naturally." Yami Marik rolled his eyes and scramed again, the mouse had ran past his legs again. It was headed for Marik! "NO! EVIL MOUSE! STAY AWAY FROM ME!! CREATURE FORM THE DARK ABYSS OF HELL!!! BE GONE!!" Yami Marik screamed and tightened his grip on Ayari's neck.  
  
"Can't. Breathe." Ayari managed. She dropped Yami Marik on the ground. "Baby."  
  
"Mousies! I like mousies!" Marik yelled picking up the mouse.  
  
"Just wait till I catch that @$%& $^$#in rodent!!" Yami Bakura set the propane torch to 'Burn the @%#&er' mode. "That lil' #$%@er's gonna pay!!"  
  
"No!! Don't hurt the mouse!! He only even bit Bakura and Tèa!" Marik screamed running from Yami Bakura who began to chase him.  
  
Sakura glared at Tristan who was trying to touch her again. "Hand's off!!" She smacked him and stormed to the other side of the restaurant.  
  
Yami Marik managed to stand and recollect him self. "Can I order now?" He aske impatiently.  
  
"Don't get an attitude with me!" She snapped. She applied her serene smile again. "Sure. What d'ya have?"  
  
"Just a small hamburger, a medium diet coke, and a frie." Yami Marik replied his eyes resting on the mouse his hikari held.  
  
"Ok." Ayari turned around to the back. "HEY #!@$^! THIS @$R WANTS A SMALL @$^^$^ HAMBUGER!! TORCH IT!! AND A @$^& SMALL FRIE!!"  
  
"$%&#$! GET IT YOUR %$!& SELF!" Bakura yelled back.  
  
"SHUT UP AND GET TO COOKIN' BAKURA!!" Ayari snapped loudly. She turned back to Yami Marik. "Is that all?" She asked with a smile.  
  
"Um.. yeah.." He sighed.  
  
"What the #$&@ is wrong with you?" Ayari asked.  
  
Yami Marik turned to the rest of the restaurant. "Ahem.." He stood up straight and his face contorted and veins popped out on the sides. "I SHALL KILL YOU ALL WITH THE AWESOME POWER-"  
  
"Of the millennium Rod." The clientele finished. Yami Marik usually came in and screamed that and banish some random person he found.  
  
"*&#$!" Yami Marik threw his cloak over his shoulder, as his face returned to normal. "Super size that meal."  
  
"Sure." Ayari turned to the back. "YOU HEARD THE $%@%in ORDER! SUPER SIZE THE WHOLE @#&% THING! UNDERSTOOD!" She smiled sweetly and turned to the front again.  
  
"I GOT IT! NOW SHUDDAP!" Bakura yelled. "$@&$ it."  
  
Ishizu walked towards the door to the cooking area. " Just a peek." She touched the door handle and Bakura came out, and the door slammed her in the nose.  
  
"..$%@$ing swinging doors!" The door swung back at her and slammed her nose again. She turned to the rest of the restaurant. "NOW ALL OF YOU!! I EXPECT THIS $%*# PLACE TO BE CLEAN BY TOMARROW! AND IF NOT THIS $%*# PLACE WILL BE CONDEMNED!! AND BEFORE I GO.. I'M GOING TO CHECK THE KITCHEN!" Ishizu turned to the door and Bakura ran back inside. The door swung at her again.  
  
"I think it's broken.." She muttered in muffled voice due to her newly broken nose. She reached of the handle and the restaurant workers ran to block the door.  
  
Yami Bakura and Marik were too busy to notice nor run to the door. "COME BACK HERE!! LET ME BURN THE @&^#ERS HEAD OFF!!"  
  
"NO! NO! NO! YOU CAN'T HURT HIM!!" Marik yelled. He cradled the mouse. "I love him. He's such a cute mousie. I shall name him Mousie and He shall be mine."  
  
The mouse hissed and began to foam at the mouth..  
  
A loud yelp sounded.  
  
"Bad #$^# MOUSIE!! BAD! BAD! MOUSIE!!" Marik examined his bite mark. "Cool I have Rabies!"  
  
Yami Marik screamed at the sound of Mousie and raibies in 2 sentences made by one person. "$@^$ rodents."  
  
Yami Bakura glared at Marik. Yami Bakura began to laugh evilly.  
  
"Get away form there! I have to check it!" Ishizu Yelled.  
  
"Oh really? Well actually- HEY!! What are you doing!!" Sakura looked at Ishizu as she began to climb through the window to the back.  
  
"I'm going in!!" Ishizu yelled.  
  
"Give me the @#%#in Mouse Marik!"  
  
"NO! I LOVE HIM!!"  
  
Yami Bakura sighed. He turned to go back to his kitchen and noticed Ishizu crawling through the order window. He screamed. "GET OUT OF MY #%&$ KITCHEN!!" Yami Bakura's ring began to shine. "NOW! DON'T MAKE ME USE THIS!!"  
  
"Make me!" Came Ishizu's voice. "I am a health inspector you know and as a health inspector, I have the right and as part of the examination process I have to go into the kitchen.." Ishizu began to continue on about her job as a health inspector.  
  
"I SAID NOT TO MAKE ME USE IT AND NOW I'M USING IT!" Yami Bakura screamed. "I BANISH YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM!!"  
  
Ishizu disappeared.  
  
"That my *%#$in kitchen." Yami Bakura muttered walking into his kitchen.  
  
"I heard stories about Bakura's kitchen.." Sakura whispered to Ayari.  
  
"Like what?" Ayari asked.  
  
"That when you enter you never come out. I remember that one waitress we had.. well waiter, Rex Raptor? Yeah he when back there one day.. and he never returned." Sakura nodded.  
  
Ayari screamed and listened to the sound of banging pots and pans and assorted curses with a British accent.  
  
Joey looked at his abandoned chicken meal on the table.. There's no hot sauce. He distinctly remembered ordering hot sauce.. "HEY THERE'S NO $%#& HOT SAUCE ON MY $%&@IN' CHICKEN!" He stormed to the counter. "Hey! Get in that %$@& kitchen and put some $%@^ hot sauce on my chicken!!" Joey thought a moment. "And a cute waitress."  
  
Sheriff Mokuba stared at the clientele. They were crazy. Maybe he should just leave. He began to edge his way to the door.  
  
"Where the hell do ya' think you're goin? You have to arrest Tèa!" Yugi stood up form the corner.  
  
The whole place stared at him.  
  
"I mean.. she did still steal that money." Yugi smiled nervously. He was becoming pale. "ARREST HER @$$ NOW!!"  
  
"I know that pale look! Your lying!" Sakura laughed. "You stole the money!"  
  
"What! I don't know what you're talking about!" Yugi yelled defensively.  
  
Yami stood up woozily. He was quite delirious. "YUGI DIDN'T STEAL THE MONEY!! I DID!" Yami laughed.  
  
Kaiba, Marik, Yami Marik, Ryou Bakura, and Yami Bakura all screamed. Yami Stealing? Whoa!  
  
"THAT'S RIGHT!! I DID IT!! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO!!" Yami screamed loudly.  
  
Sheriff Mokuba ran out the restaurant.  
  
Tèa shrugged. She picked up her mop and began to mop up assorted smashed foods on the ground.  
  
"WHAT!! He can't just leave! He's supposed to arrest Tea in this episode!" Yugi yelled.  
  
"WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!!" Tèa yelled brandishing her mop threateningly. "DID YOU WANT ME TO BE ARRESTED!!??"  
  
Yugi shuddered in fear. "Well uh no."  
  
Bakura slammed down Yami Marik's order on the counter.  
  
"Nice tutu." Yami Marik said loudly.  
  
"#@&% YAMI'S!" Bakura screamed. He walked in to the kitchen angrily, after smacking Yami Marik.  
  
Kaiba revved up the chainsaw. "I'LL DESTROY AND BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND!!!"  
  
Ayari and Sakura screamed. "NO!"  
  
Kaiba turned to the counter. He was about to chop it up.  
  
"HEY!! DO YOU MIND!? I'M STILL USIN' THIS!" Yami Marik yelled.  
  
Ayari and Sakura grabbed Kaiba and pulled him into his office. Screams and banging noises sounded. Ayari and Sakura walked Back out wiping their hands. "That's that."  
  
Bakura poked his head out form the kitchen. "What's the $^@* is going on out here?"  
  
"Kaiba went crazy again." Sakura said plainly as she walked to a table to take orders from some people sitting there.  
  
"Again?" Bakura asked. "What was he trying to do?"  
  
"Cut the place up." Ayari typed in some prices into the cash register and handed some one their receipt. "He might have burned the place if Yami Bakura didn't have the propane torch."  
  
Marik looked over to the office. "Poor Kaiba." He smiled and hoped out of his chair. "I should go talk to him."  
  
Sakura, Ayari, and Bakura followed Marik into the office.  
  
Kaiba screamed. He was tied up in a straight jacket and in a corner, his mouth was gagged.  
  
"Kaiba? Are you ok?" Marik asked.  
  
"Mrrffmmmfrrr." Kaiba responded.  
  
"Sorry you'll have to repeat that," Ayari said leaning in to hear better.  
  
"MRRFFMMMFRRR!!" Kaiba yelled.  
  
"What?" Sakura asked.  
  
"MRRFFMMMFRRR!!" Kaiba yelled again.  
  
"What?" Ayari asked.  
  
"He said that you're all a bunch of Mother @#%$er's. " Malik said like it was obvious.  
  
"Mrffrmmffrmm," Kaiba added.  
  
"Oh and he's going to kill you all tonight-"  
  
"mmriiffrfrmmf."  
  
"In your sleep-"  
  
"Mfrisrrrffrfmmfm."  
  
"With a butcher knife." Marik smiled. "He's calmer than usual."  
  
"MARIK!!! DELIVERY!!" Yami Bakura's voice rang in thorough the closed door and into Marik's mind.  
  
"I hear ya @$#%it." Marik thought back angrily.  
  
The group exited the office closing the door.  
  
"Marik.. now.. bring back money! Ok just money!" Ayari yelled handing him the new order from off the back counter.  
  
"Yes SIR!" Marik saluted. "I mean ma'am." He rushed out the door. "YOU CAN COUNT ON ME!"  
  
"That's what I'm afraid of." Ayari said.  
  
"#$@%IT BAKURA!!!" Yami Bakura yelled.  
  
Bakura ran back into the kitchen.  
  
Yami Marik stared at his hamburger. He pulled of the top part of the bun. There were cigarette bunt's all over it. He looked in his soda, ash form the cigarettes. He looked at the case of fries. What would he find in there? He opened it. It was full of junk that had no remote chance of even being a French Frie.. even if it was in the shadow realm. Yami Marik concluded the food was much do dangerous to eat. "I'm already anorexic."  
  
The smooth announcers voice came on and a picture of the restaurant appeared showing the characters in their current positions. "What is in the kitchen? Will Marik the delivery boy bring back money and any more babies? Will Janitor Téa be arrested if Sheriff Mokuba returns? Will Kaiba escape his bonds and kill Ayari and Sakura in their sleep with a butcher's knife? Will Yami become any more crazy and did he actually commit the stealing? Joey get any hot sauce on his chicken? Tune in next time for the next episode of-"  
  
The ending credits rolled showing pictures of different crazy happenings at the restaurant and at the end a group picture of the cast. 


End file.
